If you are human, you have done it. You compare yourself to other people. The good news is that people out there compare themselves to you and the not-so-good news is that you do it, as well. While neither is benefit of the other, it is simply part of human nature. It is how we grow, it is how we strive, but sometimes, unfortunately, it is sometimes an excuse to give up, as well. You cannot have the happiness you deserve by comparing yourself to other people.
A Fixed Mindset
Comparing yourself to other people will limit your happiness with yourself. If we do not have something to compare ourselves to, you might reason, then how will we learn to achieve and grow? Sometimes, when we compare ourselves to others, we have something to gauge our success and failure with and, therefore, a measure of where we can do better and achieve more.
However, unfortunately, for those with a fixed mindset, this does not occur at all. There is actually a reverse method of thinking. That reverse method tells us, since we are not as good as the other person, we might as well just quit. That does not work in the world of intelligence, however. It is ineffective, at best.
Do you ever find yourself viewing someone else’s success as only a way to make yourself look bad? If so, you are not alone in this thought process. For some, the success of others equates to highlight their own failures. Excuses are made such as the other party being luckier or having it easy. Another excuse is to say everything just comes easily to that person or, even worse, use their success to highlight some other unrelated shortcoming. Would it not be much healthier to re-train your brain to adopt a mindset of growth? To be complete happy, one must see them self as sufficient. Therefore, when comparing yourself to other people it will limit your happiness.
On the opposite end of the spectrum is a growth mindset. You can give yourself the opportunity to change and grow over time as you learn to re-train your brain to a growth mindset. When you view someone else’s success or happiness as a way to strive harder, do more, and work harder, you re-train your brain to view this not as an excuse to stay status quo, but as a reason to thrive.
If you choose the thought patterns that intelligence is developed and you can most certainly train your brain to reach higher heights, you will see a radical change in your life. Once you get that your self-image has nothing to do with failing at something and that this failure is actually a path to higher learning, you will be at ease in your own skin.
The best way to becoming more of whatever you perceive, you need and to be happy doing it; is to be at ease in your own skin? If you change your mind, you can re-train your brain to view failure as a stepping-stone to new successes. You will begin to understand failure as a learning tool and not as a way to define your image.
So, the next time you want to compare yourself to someone else, stop and ask yourself if his or her success can highlight inspiration for you. Maybe he or she put a tremendous amount of effort into the realization of dreams and all that hard work paid off. This could be a learning tool for you rather than something viewed as an enemy. It is always essential for authentic happiness within anyone’s life to be sure of their own abilities, their striving and their courage.
Other people’s success could be a way and a means for you to learn, grow, and, most importantly, be inspired. It should never be a way to cop out, grow weary of trying to accomplish something that appears to be hard. Your success and happiness comes to fruition only by your ability to dream your dream, make a plan, follow that plan, put it into actions, and work until it is accomplished. It one plan does not work; take a different approach, and simply start over.
In the end, you can learn from another person, but comparing yourself to that person, will diminish your own success and happiness.