Something important happened to me recently that made me more aware of the fact that you cannot always judge a person by their actions. In other words, never judge anyone by what ‘you think’ you see in that person. What you think you see may not be that person’s actual profile. Yes, this was politically driven, though I hate to admit it.
I normally try not to criticize a person by their presentation of whatever the subject is. Simply because I learned years ago that all people have the same basic needs. You heard me right; you, they, those, and I, we all have the same basic needs when we get to the bottom of why we act the way we do.
This is not just something I dug up to write about; it comes from a few months of studying psychiatric nursing, while in nursing school. After all, this subject is about people and their actions, reactions, normal and abnormal actions.
The new lesson for me was that just because someone has a strong obligation to support their side of the story, seemingly, without taking a breath; it does not mean they are not an outstanding human being. It simply means they have a belief system they do not compromise. What I learned was that the person speaking was considered a human with compassion, love, respect, and was very humorous. I had noticed that he smiled a lot, however I thought he was being silly. People loved and respected this person and there were nothing negative to say; not at all, as my perception was.
I learned another lesson in life, which I already knew; however, I had forgotten (as we humans do) the basics of what we should always remember when listening to others.
The Basic Human Needs
The basic human needs falls within three categories and they are:
- emotional, and
We know that our physical needs fall are closely related to body function and are sometimes called as primary or physiological drives. These physical needs like food, water, oxygen, clothing, shelter, and warmth, we are all born with the same physical needs.
Emotional needs play a part in motivating behavior, and frustration of them results in serious disturbances in behavior. Medical history tells us that it is sometimes difficult to separate emotional needs and their satisfaction as they are closely intertwined with a person’s physical needs.
Some basic emotional needs are those of love- to be loved and to love others, which includes approval of others, esteem, and the need to feel important. This includes recognition and respect; that simple need for adequacy, self-sufficiency, the need to be “needed,” and that of productivity, which includes work and creative pursuits.
It seems that emotional needs within one’s life are the biggest issues as this is how we interact with other people. Emotional needs are what we have learned by how we interacted, and were treated by our parents. When parents love a child freely and openly, they develop the feelings of worth, dignity and will reach out to love others. If they are treated with importance, they will develop self-respect and respect the rights of others. When taught that you win some in life, and you lose some things in life. They are able to develop security and strength, and do not feel inadequate. When a child receives praise for something he has accomplished, he will develop a sense of wholeness and integrity. When there are family issues such as divorce, or marital issues, a child can feel isolation and loneliness. This can often makes it hard for a child to accept love, or share it with other humans, their behavior often aloof. The professional seem to think this alone is the basis for most of man’s dysfunctional or inappropriate behaviors.
We could take this subject to a vast number of subjects of why adults behave the way they do. If as children, they are loved, cherished, respected, included, praised, and made to feel secure; their actions, re-actions, and performances within life will be more positive.
Social needs are those needs one develops from the culture or society of which one is a participant. These needs are interlaced with the physical and emotional needs and it is hard to separate them. A child learns from their parents, their peers, and other social engagements.
Why to look beyond a person’s actions to their basic needs…The total points we are taking into consider is that all people act the way they do because of their basic needs. Good, bad, frustrating, or just annoying, it is what we learn by living life, as we know it. It is also because there may be an underlying catastrophic issue they have dealt with, whether in their childhood, or after that is causing them to act, react, or behave the way they do.
Most humans relate to life in different fashions. They learn their behaviors, and very often adults do not try to change their stance on life; and become prone to let their views, passions, and deep seeded resentments shine. They shine, aloud and often without control.
However, if the rest of the world is what we will call; altogether, we should try to understand (when we know these people), to look beneath the surface, and see the real human. The why, the maybe, and the reason that a person speaks the way they do and why their actions may be very different to our own.
The next time you want to run the other way so as not to get involved in a conversation you think as disturbing, take the challenge, and look beneath the cover. You just might learn something useful to your life.